Boundaries….A bit of a Rant

I don’t have a problem saying no. It’s just hard saying no to the people that are really close to me, especially when I know they’re in need. I don’t know why I feel such a great responsibility for the ones around me, but I do. As a result of being somewhat of a people pleaser, I give in. I say yes, I get the job done, no matter how draining physically, spiritually, mentally, or emotionally it may be. This makes me uncomfortable. It’s puts me in a bad space and my energy is thrown off. Sometimes it makes me withdraw from certain people. A few times I’ve found myself completely overwhelmed with taking on the issues of others. It’s not healthy. One of the things that I’m learning is how to avoid those overwhelming feelings by setting boundaries and sticking to them.

In every relationship it is important to set boundaries. I’m learning that boundaries aren’t a bad thing. Boundaries allow you to tell a person what you will and will not allow. It gives the other person the opportunity to understand and know where you stand. I’m discovering boundaries help us define what we should be and should not be responsible for. Most importantly it helps me practice and work on self control. Setting clear boundaries and sticking to them has to be a sign of growth. When I set boundaries in my relationships, it’s not only for the protection of myself but that other person as well. I recently was reading a devotional on boundaries and it stated boundaries help us keep the “good in and bad out.” I definitely believe it helps me stay level headed and logical.

I recently had to reinforce some boundaries within one of my relationships with a simple no. Saying “No” can be confrontational. It can seem insensitive even. However, the unspoken resentment that starts to build from catering to others needs and neglecting your boundaries will appear. The resentment can appear in different ways. For me, I’m being shown it’s better to set the boundaries, stick to them, and not apologize for saying no. I refuse to allow myself to feel overly committed to another persons “small unconvinced daily life stiffly. I can not and will not allow myself to get guilt tripped or feel sorry for saying no, setting boundaries, and sticking to them.

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