Sorry for the delay…..I was being a brat. Happy New Year! (Struggle with writer’s block)

I’ve struggled with writing my New Year post. It’s so many things I’ve been waiting to say but so many things stopping me. I think it has caused writer’s block. In the times that I’ve wanted to write everything has seemed so “Ugh”. But today, I had to meet my deadline. So “I fake got prepared” and prepared to tell it all…

I believe in angels……

I believe we have angels walking the Earth. Yesterday, I had a conversation with one of my favorite people. It was absolutely refreshing and very much the confirmation I needed. However, one thing that stood out was “don’t be surprised of the timing…..”. This angel was warning me of this test that was coming. More of a heads up. I appreciate it. It was needed. The test came faster than expected because of the deadline that I put on myself.

As I prepared to write, the first thing that came to mind was the time I was hurt the most. It was something that I hadn’t really thought about, so of course I hadn’t worked my way through it. I decided that would be the perfect thing to write for my blog….because of course my blog is about honesty. It’s meant to be real and raw but healing……

I laugh at myself ALL the time….As I begin to write about the time in my life that damaged me the worse(in my opinion) I begin to reopen those all wounds. I cried a little. I became angry again, wept for my soul. I had gotten to one of the lowest points in my life and no one around to see that. I became upset with the people around all over again. When I was done, I felt relieved. I felt pretty good…..but I was still ready to publish that very personal journal. That journal that would have completely destroyed the relationship that I now have with that person. Although I felt freed, it was at the expense of someone’s else reputation and honor. I have to laugh at myself to keep from beating myself up……for making bad decisions.

Something was missing…..

I begin to pray about my writings and for my relationships. I got a phone call right after that distracted me from publishing my journal. Once I finished the phone call…..there it was.

It was a message…an apology. The apology that I thought I didn’t need to really set me free. But there it was. Sitting there….all nicely written. I know it’s probably the Christian thing to be able to forgive without the apology. But sometimes we need that. Or at least I did….

So now, I feel good. I feel like that blockage has been removed and I can really focus on my blogging and writing. Cheers to the New Year and the Blessings that’ll come.

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