I’m in a state of calmness and I’m more than thankful for that. Today was Labor Day, a day typically when people are off from work and children are out of school. Today, my fabulous 4 and I, we worked. We got schoolwork done, cleaned, they worked my nerves, we planned, we chilled, I fussed a little because they worked my nerves and they even helped me prepare lunch. But, it’s been a day of peace, no high stress, no worries, no anxiety. I’m grateful.
I decided to homeschool my children this year. It’s something that I’ve been contemplating for years. I finally did it! I’m quite proud of myself despite the fact I’m a working(not quite legal) single mom and student myself. Yes, it means zero breaks, yes, I get frustrated, yes, they’re a handful but I’ve dreamed of these days. I longed for the days that MY children would be freed from the standardized and moderate school system. This works for them. It works for us, even if that means doing homework/class work on weekends and holidays. Even if that means getting zero breaks other than when I go to work. It gives us peace and balance. We are good,
I’ve been back working for about a month now and it’s not as bad as I thought it would be. It’s given me enough time away from the kids to recharge and helping with income. No complaints. Although, I’m starting a new job soon with different hours I might struggle a bit, I can feel and see the lesson already in that struggle. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I feel a shift/change in my situation and it feels nice. Refreshing in a sense. I feel my body coming out of the storm I’ve been in and I feel myself starting to relax a bit. Not in a comfortable kind of way, but in a “I’ll be alright” way. Things are finally panning out. Again, I’m grateful, blessed and clearly highly favored.( insert COGIC praise break)
I haven’t been writing as much, or at least I haven’t been publishing my writings. I needed to take a break and regroup. Now that I’ve had the time to do so I can start my writing process again. I don’t know where to begin seeing as I’m in a new place, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. I’m not sure if I want to write about my present, past, or future but I know I have to write. I can’t stop bringing myself this relief…..because writing is a relief. So, I know I must find the time. It’s all about balance and so far I’ve been doing one heck of a job. I’m proud of myself. Very proud.
It’s all coming together, my new life, environment, and knowledge. Some days are tougher than others but I think I’m starting to get the hang of it. As I smile at the toddler waiting, patiently, for my attention, I know that me being a member of the fantastic five( it’s kind of catchy) will be okay. The kids and I are good and we’ve found that balance we’ve been missing. I’m finally able to do what I struggled doing in marriage and that’s maintaining balance…..
(Maybe part 2 later)