I haven’t written in a while. Part of the reason being, I’ve been too emotional recently. I was told by a close friend to be mindful of the message I may be putting out. Not that I disagree completely but it kind of put me in a place that I felt like I needed to be guarded, heavily. I’ve written a lot, not much completed. Honestly, it caused me to second guess myself. It caused doubt. Although, I know for certain that it came from a super protective place, I received it differently. There was a disconnect.
Let me first say, my friend, my Big Sis, my LP, my Better, is Very protective of me. She has to be because although I may not be a rebel, I am. She knows me, she feels me, she understands me, and she shares with me every ounce of wisdom her mind has. I trust her. I value her opinion. I often wait for her approval of things. I’ve relied on her maybe too much. It’s unhealthy to develop attachment to people. Not saying we don’t need people but we should be comfortable being alone. Spiritually speaking, I’ve been granted gifts that others long to have. Long story short, I should trust myself and my gifts more.
So here I am, writing and vibing. I have to first understand that there are certain things that this friend won’t be able to understand. Not because she won’t try but God just hasn’t given her the vision that he’s given me. I also had to understand that her protective nature is going to force her to say things that will prevent harm from me. Or potential harm. Yet, some things not even she can prevent. It’s for the better. My journey isn’t her journey and the lessons that God has for me, are for me.
Transparency is something that I’ve work to create. I’ve worked really hard to be able to display truth. Truth and honesty. I can’t allow someone who doesn’t know the vision to stop the journey. This blog for me, my writings, are about displaying truth, honesty, and pure raw knowledge and wisdom. I don’t get it right every time. Sometimes my writing are extremely personal to my journey. Sometimes my writings are reflections of things I’ve seen or stories I’ve heard. Nonetheless, I’m an artist, painting pictures of reality through words. Respect me as such.
Something completely unrelated to this revelation allowed me to open my eyes. I see things a little differently now. I can say for the first time in my life, I’m not easily offended. It’s a change for sure. Welcomed change.
To that friend, my LP, I love you. I know you’re worried, I know you’re concerned, just trust the process…..I promise it’ll be worth it. The transparency is for us….because I’m willing to birth this blessing for both of us. 💙