Sometimes when unfortunate things happen, we distract ourselves with other things. Especially when it’s traumatic. Or maybe it’s just me….
I realized that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. Distracting myself to avoid having to deal with certain emotions that come from losing people I thought would be around forever. It’s funny, I’ve always had a sense of being able to tell when people are being sincere. I’ve always had a certain level of discernment that allow me to understand how to “move” with certain people.
Because at times there was a grave disconnect from my father, there was a disconnect with the gifts that He has given me. A lot of situations I’ve caught myself in is a direct result of not being as connected as I should have been with my Father. People have entered my life that never should have been allowed access. I gave them things that they never should have been in possession of. Loyalty, trust, my vulnerability being a few things.
So yes, I got hurt. I am hurt. I will get upset, I will cry, I will feel sad. I’m allowed to grieve. But I won’t allow that hurt to define me. I have to move on and I will. In time I will.